No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
