i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm sobbing to NWA
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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