I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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