I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
