I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Randomize
