I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
