Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize