you guys were way drunker than both of me
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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