Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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