i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
