our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
