We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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