I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize