He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
