"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
