So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
