Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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