My friends, they love my intelligence
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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