Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize