thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
