Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
