She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
