mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize