Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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