it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
