i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i think my cat just said my name.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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