How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
