i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
