Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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