Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
