TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
