You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
