Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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