party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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