Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
that's an acceptable place to lick
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
