Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
