I look better un-naked...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
