dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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