So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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