you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
