If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
