So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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