some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
