would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
