she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
