Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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