So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We had sex on a dog bed..
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
