Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
