4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
