Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
