Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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