no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
There are leaves in my underwear?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
