i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
