Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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