I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
