Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize