Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
