your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Can you bring me the toilet please
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize