I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
