Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Terrible idea I love it
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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