Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
