Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
