I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i think i have two assholes
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize