The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
my sisters under your porch take her home
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
