Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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