i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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