fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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