Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Ladies don't puke and tell
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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