I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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